EN · No words needed 20+ ÅR / YEARS 1 PERSON REQUIRED
!
Before you begin
Clear a flat surface (a desk, or a motorcycle seat in rural Bolivia both work). Some assembly required. Estimated time: 20+ years. Some steps cannot be undone — proceed with curiosity.
Parts Included
Android Engine
1
Compose UI Panels
50
React / Node Brackets
2
AI Tooling Cable (Copilot / Cline / Claude)
3
Database Bolts (Postgres / SQL / NoSQL)
8
DevOps Washers (Docker / AWS / git)
12
B.S. CS + Philosophy Assembly Tool
1
Assembly Steps
1
GREEN BAY, WI
→
2003 – 2004
Attach Base Plate
First job: inventory and CRM systems for Land O'Lakes and White Clover Dairy in Green Bay, Wisconsin. Foundation piece — do not skip, even though it is tempting.
2
×400k
2007 – 2010
Stack Panels (Do Not Overload)
University of Phoenix Online classroom platform — maintained, scaled to serve over 400,000 students. Panels rated for heavy load.
3
⤳
AZ → ARGENTINA · 20,000 MI
2010 – 2011
Remove Panel. Take a Long Walk. (Optional, Highly Recommended)
Disassemble desk job. Ride 20,000 miles solo by motorcycle from Arizona to Argentina over 8 months. Reassemble self. Write memoir, "Anxiety Across the Americas."
4
x2
2016 – 2017
Connect Logistics Bracket to Mobile Frame
DAT Solutions — built "Load Board" Android app from scratch. Stood up new Node.js REST API backend without incident.
5
6 MONTHS
2017 – 2019
Wire React Native Module — Tighten Until Promoted
Cvent — led the React Native pilot, became tech lead within 6 months. Built Storybook component library. Hosted meetups (instructions for hosting meetups not included).
6
×50
2019 – 2024
Replace All 50 Panels — Do Not Reuse Old Hardware
New Relic — led the migration of 50+ application screens from Java/XML to Kotlin/Jetpack Compose for the mobile observability platform. CI pipeline calmer afterward.
Kotlin / Jetpack Compose
Coroutines / Flows
MVVM, Dagger, Retrofit
7
CURRENT
2024 – Present
Final Assembly — Tighten All Bolts, Plug In AI Cable
eBay — leads work on item discovery and offer management, sales analytics, coupon refactor. Integrates GitHub Copilot, Cline, and Claude Code into the team's daily workflow.
If a part is missing, it is probably the motorcycle. That part is not replaceable.